Jupiter or Mars

Over the Easter holidays I watched my two youngest grandchildren while their pre-school was closed. I picked them up, on the four days that I watched them, at the building (what they call their mom's place of work) at around 9 AM. On the ride back to my house the two of them loved to chat. For the first 10 minutes I heard about everything that had gone on since I saw them last, and then one of them would ask me to put on some music. They usually want "The Moose and the Bear", "Beatles for Kids" or "Broadway Kids". These are all on my Ipod; however, I have again broken the device that connects my Ipod to the car radio. This week we listened to CD's that are in my car. I only have 2 CD's in the car and they are both done by a friend of mine who both the little ones have met and the older one remembers. The children listened to parts of these CD's for about 30 minutes each morning. On the last day I watched them, which was this past Tuesday, the older of the two was walking around playing, coloring, looking at books and all of the other things she does, and I realized she was humming and singing something. I payed a little more attention to what she was singing and heard her singing parts of the song "Sand Dancing" " ... sand dancing .... Jupiter and Mars....." I gave her a hug and we pretended we were dancing in the sand, and she then asked me what is Jupiter and Mars. I told her they were planets. Then she asked if my friend lived on Jupiter and Mars. I stopped for a minute and had to think about the question, and then I answered - maybe sometimes, but then told her she really lives in Key West. My granddaughter has been to Key West a few times, and to all of the grandkids it is a special place - to them it is far away - almost like another planet.

That question got me thinking - I guess sometimes we all could use a little time in outer space. Where our outer spaces are don't need to be as far away as Jupiter and Mars, but I think we all need our getaways. We can create them in our own homes. A chair next to a fireplace, a sunny window nook for winter thinking, a blanket next to the trunk of a weeping willow tree for summer reading. As the weather begins to warm I remember the days of summer before anyone I knew had air-conditioning. One of the memories I have is the setting up of tables outdoors in the shade. It didn't matter if it was in the front or back yard - under a carport - behind the kitchen - the only requirement was that it had shade almost all day. I can picture the grandpas sitting outside playing cards, arguing politics, telling jokes usually in a language I didn't understand and enjoying their outer spaces. As these memories are over 50 years old, I remember the women in the kitchen preparing meals early in the day and doing as much as they could out doors in some shady spot. These memories take me to a place very foreign from today's life style - almost like another planet. I am not saying I want to recreate those days for myself - I really don't, but I am so happy I have those memories.

Somewhere in all these words I have a point. I think it is, I hope that 50 plus years from now one of my grandchildren will be sitting somewhere with fond memories of moments I helped make for them. Thanks LT for the song that touched a four year old and the fun she and I had with it. We may have both created for her a memory that will still make her heart warm when she remembers it 50 plus years from now.

Rusty Nails

Some friendships are like rusty nails. If you don't take the proper precautions they can really hurt you. Like give you lock jaw. Unfortunately there is no tetanus shot to protect you from the after effects of a bad friendship. You just sort ta have ta wait it out.

I remember the day we got our Chinese desk from Hong Kong. We ordered it while we were in Hong Kong and it got to our home about 2 months later. It came in two big crates. It was placed in the garage by the delivery service, and Paul and I unpacked it when he got home. We had to use a crow bar to pry the wood frame apart. As usual I wasn't wearing shoes and in no uncertain terms was sent inside to put on a pair of shoes, because "You don't know where these nails are coming from". I put on a pair of heavy sneakers, and as I was going over to pick up the wood that was coming off of the crate I stepped on a very long nail. It went into my foot quick and fast, and I didn't feel it until it was well into my foot. It never really hurt. We pulled it out through the sneaker, and then looked at my foot. It went in a good way, but I hardly had any pain and little blood. At Paul's insistence I called the doctor, and the doctor told the nurse to tell me he was still open to come right in - not to wait until tomorrow as I wanted to do. I thought this was silly, but it was easier to do this than listen to Paul. When I saw the Doctor I inquired about the urgency of the visit. He was concerned about a bone infection. He was less concerned about the nail coming from China than he was about it going through my sneaker. He gave me a tetanus shot and antibiotics, and explained that if the nail had reached a bone and infected it - it would be very difficult to get rid of the infection and would take a long time to heal.

That is how a close friendship that goes bad feels. Once the initial hurt has lessened it still takes a long time for the wound to heal. Like a physical wound it leaves its unsightly scabs then eventually forms a scar.

The Mists

We live in a small town on the Delaware River. When you live near a major body of water you begin to gage things based on that body of water. It doesn't matter if it is an ocean or a small creek, all bodies of water have their own influence on the areas near them. It is a normal thing for me to take stock of the river as I drive along its banks or over it. This morning on my way home, around 9:30, I noticed a mist on the river. I figured the river was cooler than the light rain that was falling into it, thus causing the mist. What caught my eye was the irregularity of the mists. For a moment I fantasied that the lost island of Avalon was located for that moment on the wing dam between Lambertville, NJ and New Hope, PA.

Deciding to spice up my already imaginative mind I parked the car in a lot on the river in Lambertville and observed. What came to mind as I watched the progression of the mist was a drum roll. At the bridge there was hardly any mist, a low roll of the drum. As the mist edged down towards the wing dam it gradually increased in size - the drum roll increasing in volume - till arriving at the wing dam where it sprung as high as the trees - reaching a full crescendo. My love affair with the river continues. It fascinates many of us. Everyone with whom I came in contact today had something to say about the river - the ebb and flow is a fascination.

Adorable Men

The other day I was at a store that sells everything - one of our modern day dime stores plus a food section. I needed to get something from the electronics section. When I was finished looking at all of the items that may be what I needed, I felt it was time to find Paul, my man of over 40 years, and get his input. I and my cart started looking for him up and down the aisles - I even called out his name a few times, reminding myself of the old K-Mart commercial where a man is going up and down the aisles calling out "Bernice" ( which was my mother's name). In looking for him I noticed that a lot of men in the store had his coat color, hair color and hair line. Then I saw one and thought, "That is a good looking older gentleman", and realized it was Paul. Glad that after so many years I still think he is cute.

I laughed to myself and began thinking about the things that make men adorable. Is it the upturned grin or smile, is it the glint in the eye, is it the slight bounce in the step, is it the funny out of context comment? I think it is all of these plus something else.

The something else I found that makes men adorable is the bit of boyishness that can be found in their mischievousness. When you can find the remnants of the boy in the man you have found his adorableness. I look at my 3 year old grandson, and he is the most adorable little man I know. He has a look when he is about to get in trouble that makes me melt, and another look after he has done something he shouldn't that makes me hold in my laughter as I help him understand the ramifications of his actions - it is hard not to find little boys adorable.

Then I started thinking about the men I know. It is not only the smile or action, but it is also the delivery. One man can say something and everyone thinks he is so clever and sweet - another can say or do the exact same thing, but if the delivery is off he becomes something quite the opposite. Sometimes you have to be a keen observer and have a kind heart to overlook the oafishness of some men.

As I sit here thinking I am reminded of the quick wit of some, the on the mark jokes at just the right moment of others, the hurt in the eye when something said hurts their feelings and the quick recovery not to let it show, the way a subject can be changed to avert an uncomfortable moment, and many other things I see in the eyes and mannerisms of the men I find adorable.

The things that make men adorable to me may be different from those of other women. The fun part of writing this was exploring the things I find adorable. Take some time to look at the people around you. Find out what it is about them that intrigues you. Enjoy the journey.

In the next week or so I hope to get a chance to write about Beautiful Women. I met some remarkable women this past fall and added to those I already know got me simply thinking about things.

In the words of Bill and Ted "Be good to one another"

It Has Been Raining for Four Days

Today is the fourth day in our present rain event. On Friday night, after having dinner at my daughter's house and playing with the grandkids, on my way home - alone - in the dark - I took the wrong exit off of I-95. Instead of the New Hope exit I took the Newtown exit. I realized it as soon as I got into the exit lane, but it was raining so hard the water was sheeting off of the windshield wipers obscuring my vision to the left. To be safe, I got off at the exit thinking I could re-enter the highway quickly. I couldn't, and began the drive home through the back woods between Newtown and New Hope. As I approached New Hope, the town lived up to it's name; when I saw the flashing lights that indicated the road was ending and town was almost there I was really flooded with a renewed hope. A 30 minute ride turned into an hour and fifteen minute ride.

Saturday we ran between raindrops first meeting another couple for breakfast -then I went home while Paul spent the afternoon with our son. I tried reading, but the wind blowing at close to hurricane strengths and the rain blowing with it just kept coming at the house in waves. The deck furniture blew all over the deck, the closed umbrella was broken in two, the exhaust vent sounded like sheet metal at a rock concert - having done what I could to secure the house I went next door to look at new paint. We had dinner next door at Sue and Craig's, once again running, now in a downpour, between the houses. It was a very nice day - despite the weather.

Sunday was just as rainy not as windy. I did household chores and watched a movie, and Paul went to help someone take care of leaking windows. We met for lunch, and rather than going out in the evening decided to stay inside where it was warm and dry. The fireplace was going and we sat quietly doing what ever it was we did while a movie played in the background.

Pretty boring stuff - hey. It was a great weekend

Today is Monday and Paul and I were both back to work. It rained on and off all day, and the weather was wet, cold, dank and nasty. Again it was a good day. Tonight we went up to Flemington to get gas, and as long as we were in the area stopped at Shop-Rite to get a cabbage and corned beef for St. Patrick's day.

We loaded the grocery's into the car. Put the cart in the cart rack so it wouldn't fly all over the lot, and got in the car. When I got in the car, Paul already had the heat going, and when I sat down I felt so comfortable, secure and safe I just enjoyed the moment. It brought me back to the days over 40 years ago when we were dating and how my heart would skip a beat every time I got in the car to go someplace with Paul. I always knew it would be fun, and that when it was time to go home I wouldn't want the night to end. As we were leaving the parking lot, I asked him if he wanted to stop for toasted blueberry muffins and hot chocolate. He laughed and said that was what we would do when we were dating before he would take me home. As blueberry muffins and hot chocolate are not part of my diet especially at night any more, we laughed and headed home.

Believe it or not there is a point to all of these rainy day ramblings. These four days of rain (and I don't know how many more we will have before it ends) have been like a retreat for my soul. I spent a lot of time listening to the sounds around me - people, nature, buildings, cars, and decided that they all had something important to say. What they all said in different words, sounds and ways is that it is always good to slow down a bit; pay attention to what is really in your head - the good stuff - the important stuff - the stuff that is there after everything else is gone - the stuff that makes us the wonderful individuals that we are - and to Embrace it, Love it, Shout it so loud only you can hear it, and then do something little to help someone else find it also.

All We Need is Love

While driving home this evening there was a Beatles song or at least it's title running through my head. I kept hearing "All you need is love, love - all you need is love". As I couldn't get this refrain out of my head, I figured I was supposed to think about it. So I did.
I realized how lucky I have been to have felt truly loved my entire life. I know it sounds sappy, but it is true. I knew my parents loved me, my grandparents adored me, my brothers and sister - we have always loved each other - even when we didn't really understand each other, I have been with my husband for over forty years and we have never doubted our love for each other, my children, my grandchildren, aunts, uncles, cousins. How lucky I have been to be a part of such wonderful relationships. Remembering, that nothing is perfect - it can still be pretty darn good. I thought about what it would be like not to have these people in my life, and it made me very sad.
Then I thought how important love is in the development of a child. It is the Miracle Grow in the soil of life. When a child knows others value them they value themselves and can accomplish almost anything.
So, in the words of the two great prophets, Bill and Ted (from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure). Be good to one another.
My kids quote Einstein and Lawrence - I quote Bill and Ted.

Dining with the T-Group or Everything is Relative

We have a group of friends with whom we have been dinning for close to 30 years. One of the members of the group dubbed us the T-Group. Someday I may tell you what T represents, but right now I just like the sound of it. So to begin I want to say: Hi Paula and Marvin - Hi Marsha and Bill - Hi Agnes and Joe - Hi Paul ( my person and tonight's birthday person) - We missed you Audrey and Jim.

We tend to be a very noisy group, so we are glad when the restaurant is a bit noisy itself. This was the case tonight, we had to shout to hear ourselves talk. The abundance of good feelings exhibited at the restaurant tonight was probably why we befriended the table behind us - Mel, Marilyn, John and Linda. They were celebrating John's birthday. The restaurant is a small space and the seating is intimate. The back of my chair was right next to Mel's chair - it almost seemed at times like one of those old fashioned chairs that have an S curve forming the backs of two seats on opposite sides of a chair bench. So when I leaned back I was looking right at Mel. We began talking about the food and all of our dining partners. He was a retired High School principal and college professor. His table gave us good reports on all of their meal selections.

The restaurant that was chosen for tonight was on Girard Ave. in Philadelphia. It was called Modo Mio - meaning my way - the name made me hopeful we could change the entree selections to appeal to our own individual tastes, but what it really meant was the chef cooked things his way. The food was very good; however, some of the comments I heard were a bit too salty ( I think it was the cheese) and for me the lamb was a little too fruity tasting, but excellently prepared. Everyone's overall opinion was quite favorable. That said I need to dwell on the location.

Paul and I gave ourselves an hour to get to the restaurant. We got off of I-95 on Girard Ave and followed it away from the river. As we were driving through the neighborhoods I was beginning to wonder how safe we were. I locked the car doors as we drove through Fishtown, under the el station on Frankford Ave. and into what I thought was Kensington, but was later told was the Northern Liberties ( a relatively new name for a old industrial neighborhood). We drove past the restaurant, and had to turn around. The side streets we went down were dark and empty looking although there were some house clusters on the street. On the way back I saw a small corner restaurant that looked rather elegant for the area, and was glad to see it was Modo Mio. We parked the car on Girard Ave, and said a prayer that it would be there a few hours later. We met up with another part of our group and had a lot of fun joking about the safety of the area.

We walked about a block to the restaurant. When we arrived we were immediately told we had to wait in the small lobby as our table was still occupied. We were told the group was done eating, but the chef came out to talk to them. About 25 minutes later we were seated. The crowd were mostly later middle aged, and everyone was having a good time. We, as usual, had a good time - good food, good wine, good friends - how could it not be all good.

We left the restaurant around 10 PM. The restaurant was still packed. As we walked towards the door there were around 15 people waiting to get in. What I noticed tonight was that as the night went on the crowd got younger. The group who left ahead of us were older than us - mostly our age while we were there, but the crowd outside were in their late 20's to early 30's. Hope it was a good night for the restaurant.

By the way - when we left we all found that our cars were right where we left them. Everything is relative.